England vs New Zealand: you couldn't make it up

[Little Beaver]

Fantastic series, for all the wrong reasons. I don't think I've ever come across two teams so desperate to hand matches to the opposition. Thankfully for England, there was was player who bothered to play his best: Ryan Sidebottom. I was very opposed to his selection last summer, but hats off - he's been a revelation. Otherwise this has to have been one of the great comedy series. A couple of nights ago I purloined my neighbours Sky box to catch up, only to find that England were all out for 258, and NZ had put on 90+ for 1. I saw the last few overs before lunch thinking game over, followed by Gower, Botham and Atherton pronouncing on the demise of English cricket, only for Sidebottom (ably assisted by the very promising Broad) to rout the Kiwis in the afternoon session. Bonkers.

If it wasn't for the poor old Windies and Bangla Desh, this series would have been for the wooden spoon of world cricket. Still, evenly matched incompetence can be very entertaining.

[Jolyon]

weird series. we look pretty fragile, but at least we showed some spirt in coming back. sidebottom looks pretty good and if flintoff comes back in fully restorted we can only improve.

[Pev]

I'm starting to get a bit a bit nervous about next years Ashes ,the bowling in particular being a big area for concern . Harmison seems to have gone as a force , Sidebottom ( in my opinion ) is a pretty honest bowler that is having the hottest spell of his career that may or may not last and Anderson is likely to get tonked when he comes up against better batsmen in conditions that aren't happening for him . Stuart Broad is probably the real deal but he is a few seasons away from being able to spearhead the attack , would be crazy to push him through too quickly as doing this to Mahmood and Plunkett has stopped decent young bowlers in their tracks . Hoggard might have it in him to come back , but i'm not sure we'll ever see the Flintoff of 2005 again .

[Little Beaver]

Agreed on most points. I think Harmison is a busted flush, and maybe the estimable Hoggard has finally bowled himself into the ground - shades of Gillespie in '05. I disagree about swaddling Broad - he already looks technically stronger than either Mahmood or Plunkett, and what was remarkable on that mad second day was that, after a grim morning session, he came back and got it right, something rare among England bowlers who usually are fucked for the day, match even, if they don't get it right from the off. I really doubt we'll see the Flintoff of '05 again, maybe not see him at all, and we really miss Simon Jones who I suspect we've seen the last of. And I admit I was wrong about Sidebottom when he was recalled - he's been brilliant.

I'm afraid Strauss's ton will see him given another chance to fail. I hope I'm wrong because when he was good he was very, very good. I think Shah's been mucked around by the selectors and deserves better - he's real class. I'm happy with Cook and Pietersen (much as I loath him), and Ambrose looks the best 'keeper/batsman we've had for a while. Bell's got to turn talent into big innings. Collingwood is simply very necessary: the only man capable of propping up the tail after the usual top order collapse.

Then there's Vaughan... Losing it rapidly as a batsman, but the compensation of his hitherto-wonderful captaincy is no longer so certain. I wouldn't call for his head just yet, but one can only be so patient.

As to the future, I await Adil Rashid's emergence with baited breath: a genuine match-winning leg spinner who also bats really well...

[slept in]

A very strange series indeed! However, I think we may see more series like this in the future, as the amount of one day cricket played continues to adversely affect Test cricket. The amount of appalling shots (one day shots) is ever increasing. Less batsman are 'got' out than ever before. The skill of adapting to different wickets is becoming a lost art, which worries me tremendously. But we shall see what comes to pass...

I feel very sorry for Hoggard for carrying the can with Harmison (who is now on the verge of never playing test cricket again - a real shame as he should have been one of the best bowlers we ever produced). The next match was played on a wicket much more helpful to seamers and England's most consistent bowler for 10 years would have reaped reward without doubt. He should not be dropped, just be given a little more time to get back to the correct levels considering his advancing years.

Anderson simply cannot play when he is carrying any kind of injury whatsoever. Fully fit he always bowls brilliantly. Slight niggle and he's f**king useless. Still should be a big part of the Eng set up, however.

Sidebottom. Fantastic series and shows the value that the county game gives an individual. Selectors take note!

Ambrose had a great innings and a decent series. But let's just wait until the bowlers start to work out his strengths. How we adapts to that will prove how good he really is.

Strauss did enough to not be dropped obviously, but he is so tentative you wonder what on earth is wrong with him upstairs. It is not that difficult to get your front foot forward so just do it! Needs to get a grip.

Panesar. Fantastic series for him and continues in his development brilliantly. To get more wickets than Vettori was a huge achievement and still gets more wickets than a finger spinner should. Not lauded enough in this series for me.

Vaughan is just not contributing enough. Colly could captain as well as him given a little time. I think he should be our best batsman with his attributes, but he quite plainly isn't. On borrowed time.

The batting is the most frustrating thing about England. The players selected are generally batting below their own standards. I don't think coaching comes into it - it's mental toughness and application that is lacking here.

Looking ahead to the Ashes, I'd like to see us play a side that looks a bit like this:

Cook
Strauss if he regains his head or decent young opener
Bell
Pietersen
Collingwood
Flintoff
Ambrose
Broad
Sidebottom
Hoggard
Panesar

This looks extemely lightweight on batting I know, but I really like the idea of using Hoggard and Sidebottom to strangle the runs (which as a tactic has never been so effective as it is today) Broad to run in and try things, Freddie to bowl in short but devastating bursts and Panesar to provide the alternative. From Flintoff to Sidebottom is a fairly able bottom middle order but this lineup is reliant on the batsmen taking responsibility and actually getting some consistent runs. Any thoughts?

[Topester]

what kind of series is this? reality? soap? or sitcom?

[Little Beaver]

what kind of series is this? reality? soap? or sitcom?
More soap and sitcom than reality.

BTW like your selection Slept In with one caveat: if Flintoff fucks his ankle again, which I suspect he will, then maybe Adil Rashid could be in the reckoning by '09. Two spinners in an England side (one left-arm finger spinner, one leg spinner) would probably be a bit much for the conservative selectors, but Rashid is potentially a good enough batsman to bat at 6.

[slept in]

Yeah, Rashid will certainly feature at some point - perhaps our poor top order batting will be hauled up by virtue of our bottom order's talent! Two spinners is always a funny one though. Selectors hate it don't they and it's much rarer since uncovered wickets. Let's hope that Rashid can keep up with his batting, then he can be included as an all rounder, rather than spinner. This makes selecting him much more palatable. I agree that Flintoff is likely to pull up again, which is why he must be protected by bowling in shorter spells, hence the plethora of seam bowlers I included in that line up. I wonder if his batting will improve in the upcoming months?...